Strategy Thursday, November 6, 2008

I was thinking that if I’m really going to make an effort at keeping a regular blog, I need to set some parameters for what I write about. Anyone who really knows me can tell you that I have a spectacular talent for tangential and digressive conversation. I have no doubt I would irritate the hell out of all two of my readers if I just went at it with no actual structure, so a level of Strategic Planning is very necessary. To that end, here is the Mission Statement for Swift, Licit and Valid:

“Swift Licit and Valid exists to capture the ever changing, daily interests of the author for the informational and entertainment purposes of its audience. The basic purpose of this blog is simple and timeless. When ordinary daily activities and thoughts are documented with sufficient levels detail and snark, then the brand is successfully nurtured and given the sweet, sweet attention it so painfully craves. This is the key for meeting the main obligation to provide readers a consistently pointless, time wasting experience that is indistinguishable from millions of other blogs filled with the same nonsense.”

Pretty vauge, eh? Well, I need to allow myself to breathe.

Aside from getting off topic, though, another of my horrible personal habits that won’t translate well to the written word is that I often try to only amuse myself with references or in-jokes that make sense to just me or a few other people. This is another phenomenon that is not all that unique to the blogosphere and, frankly, the whole self-referential irony thing has really played itself out. That’s why I am a generally lame person, though. I don’t make any effort to keep up with current rhetorical standards. Pretty much what I concern myself with now are the same things I latched onto in my teens and twenties. Politics, stupid movies, scatological humor and misplaced self importance are the order of the day. I’m also very into self deprecating humor but I’ll leave it up to reader to decide if that’s what I’m doing now.

So, a few things to keep in mind as you read this:

• When I post here I’m almost always trying to amuse myself.
• The only people who actually read this blog think I’m annoying and a dumbass.
• I will never insult friends or family. At least not publicly. If I say something about someone that sounds sort of mean, I’m joking.

There you have it. These are the mission and rules of Swift, Licit and Valid.